Humor Articles
211: Do You Want To Bet It Hasn t Changed
When I wasn't looking, someone put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on Las Vegas. It's no longer family friendly. The money Mom and Dad were spending on wizard hats and amusement park rides wasn't being spent in casinos, which spin, roll and throw much greater profits.
New luxury hotels appear overnight like mushrooms and service staff are cloned to run
212: Does A Face-Lift Make You Taller
My grandmother believed in face-lifts - as long as they didn't require surgery. She believed a smile improved everyone's looks.
Most women, however, use lipstick to improve their looks. That's why lipstick is the most frequently purchased beauty product - except by me. I don't wear lipstick. I don't have the patience to reapply it. For me lipst
213: Does Any Port In A Storm Include Airports
It's been a long time since United Airlines had ads showing O. J. Simpson running through airports. Since then it's the rest of us who've been running for planes. Since then O.J's runs have been from ... the law.
We have to run to allow extra time to park in lots that are farther away, extra time to get through increased security and extra time
214: Does Anyone Study Studies
Today there are studies for just about everything. A study comparing smokers with non-smokers found that smokers are concerned primarily with the present and non-smokers are concerned more about the future. Professional dancers were given as an example. Because their careers are short, professional dancers are more concerned about the present - and
215: Does Charity Really Begin At Home
When we lived on the East Coast, my husband found out charity didn't begin next-door. That's where having a half acre of land inspired him to become a beekeeper. He had a hive, protective clothing and a smoker - but we never had honey. A neighbor sued my husband for creating "a nuisance caused by unleashed pets". The neighbor wasn't sweet on the id
216: Does Cooking Provide Food For Thought
Everyone has an opinion about cooking. Robert Frost said, "There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't and that's a wife who can't cook and will". Buddy Hackett said, "My mother's menu consisted of two things: take it or leave it" and Phyllis Diller said her meals were so bad her kids thought Thanksgiving was meant to co
217: Does Environmentally Sound Make A Noise
A litterbug is someone who drops something, but picks it up when asked. Litterbugs who don't respond to "Excuse me, you dropped something" should be called litter roaches.
Frequently you see people in orange vests picking up litter along highways. Often this is punishment for their wrongdoings. Unfortunately, when wrongdoers pick up others' wro
218: Does Every Litter Bit Hurt
PAT is my personal system for handling litter. No, not the stuff that's thoughtlessly strewn along streets and highways and is dropped in parks and on beaches. PAT, which stands for Put Away Things, is for the litter in my house. PAT is what keeps casual living from turning into chaos.
Dirty dishes in the sink, the morning newspaper in sections
219: Does It Have To Be Picture Perfect
I HATE having my picture taken! The expression "take your picture" says it all. It says something's going to be taken and it is - my peace of mind.
It sounds like a cliche, but I'd rather go to the dentist. I would, that is, if the dentist didn't have his own camera and didn't x-ray my teeth. That's enough to trigger my photo phobia. I get that
220: Does It Have Your Stamp Of Approval
Two cents here - three cents there - and up goes the cost of U.S. postage. Some of the increased revenue pays for change of address cards, which are free at the post office.
When we moved, I sent these cards to friends and relatives I couldn't notify by e-mail. Yes, Virginia, there are people who don't believe in e-mail. That I'm sure about.
221: Does Re-Gifting Make You Gifted
To recycle or not to recycle, that is the question. No, I don't mean aluminum, glass, paper and plastic. That's not a question. That's my responsibility to my littered and taken-for-granted planet.
Every day I have to dispose of packaging materials. The smaller the item is, the bigger its package is. Supposedly this increases the product's eye
222: Does Success Make You Successful
The U.S. has more successes than any other country. That might sound like a broad generalization, but it's not. Australia has one town named Success. The U.S. has three - one in Arkansas, one in Missouri and one in New Hampshire. Hopefully, they compensate for Why, Arizona; Last Chance, Colorado; and Hell, Michigan.
Los Angeles is filled with wa
223: Does The Shoe Fit
They say you don't know someone until you walk a mile in his shoes. If you walked a mile in mine, you'd have to walk in heels. I'm more comfortable in heels than flats - usually.
My luggage was lost when my husband and I went to Costa Rica. Lost luggage wasn't a surprise. Wearing heels to climb over volcanic rock from a live volcano was. Becaus
224: Does Time Stumble When It Marches On
Time flys - even when you're not having fun. Everyone talks about it, but talking is all we do. According to the Oxford Dictionary, talking about time has made it the most frequently used noun in the English language. Year is the third most frequently used noun, day is the fifth and week is the seventeenth. On the list of the one hundred most frequ
225: Doesn t Every Litter Bit Still Hurt
The Linuses of this world leave litter in their wake. It makes me wonder what their homes look like. It's the people who don't put the refuse of their lives in the proper receptacles who put the rash in trash.
Once when my grandmother was traveling by train, she put her unfinished lunch back in the box. She even retied the string around the box
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