Humor Articles
256: How Changeable Is Change
A strange thing about change is that it doesn't always cause change. The cost of gas, for instance, keeps going up; but people keep driving gas guzzling vehicles. It's as if they think gas grows in barrels; and as long as the barrels keep rolling, they can barrel on.
Let sleeping dogs lie - go with the flow - these sayings explain why television
257: How Clean Is Clean
Housework is like raising kids - it's never done. Take dusting - please. Supposedly you're meant to dust after you vacuum because vacuuming causes more dust. Living causes dust.
I can see dust falling while I'm trying to wipe it away. Over the years I've replaced our dark furniture with light-colored furniture trying to camouflage the dust; but
258: How Do You Know When You re Middle Age
I'm going to put an ad in the LA Times LOST & FOUND column to find out where 2006 went. I don't know. I don't know when years started to have only eight months.It must have been when hours started to have only forty minutes. What I do know is that all of us will have something in common in 2007, no matter how fast the year passes. We will all be a
259: How Do You Look To Others
My looks aren't mine. I could tell you I look like Jacquelyn Smith with blond hair or Diane Sawyer with short hair or Jamie Lee Curtis with better movie choices, but my looks depend on how others see me.
Technically, I look like the combination of my mother's egg and my father's sperm; but because they didn't look like Janet Leigh and Tony Curt
260: How Do You Manage Home Management
I'm an in-house manager for a non-profit that's dedicated to furthering the understanding of human development in the 21st century - or at least that's what I tell strangers at social functions. It's party-speak for saying I'm a wife and mother. If I'm asked, I explain I qualified for my position by getting a bachelor in public affairs - and then I
261: How Do You Put Long In Longevity
In my search for longevity I read The Blue Zones - Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who've Lived the Longest. According to this best seller, there are four areas of the world where lifestyles have enabled people to live to be over one hundred - Costa Rica, Okinawa, Sardinia and Loma Linda, California. The book's author, Dan Buettner, attri
262: How Do You Say Equal In French
No, I didn't go river rafting or rock climbing or skeet shooting. My sense of accomplishment came from single-handedly getting a sitter.
Yes, I found a responsible, experienced, college sophomore, who didn't have a date on Saturday night. Unfortunately, her boyfriend comes back from National Guard duty next week; but we had her for Saturday nig
263: How Green Is Your Thumb
Eve got kicked out of the Garden of Eden and I took that as a sign not to garden. My not having even a pale green thumb was a sign from Mother Nature I wasn't meant to garden.
Not so with my husband. He was born to garden. He was born with green hands.
When he had a garden, I could have written "The 101 Ways to Cook or Disguise Zucchini Coo
264: How Loneliness Faulty Logic and Convenience Destroyed Three Super Brains
Franklin was a lonely guy. He was reasonably handsome, very intelligent and witty. But lonely. He had a string of pedigree degrees and a never ending resume. People liked him and he was especially charming in a group. He had what many would call charisma. But lonely.
Poor Franklin had gone through a spirit crushing divorce that left him bruised
265: How Many Bad Habits Can A Good Person Have
Hopefully confessing bad habits makes us better people. My first confession is spell check had to remind me habit is spelled with one "B".
According to behavioral scientists, it takes three weeks to "change the way you do something" and to be successful you have to replace the bad way with a good way. That was the way I dated when I was a teenag
266: How Many Makes A Collection
Collections are like home movies. Everyone has them, but no one wants to see them. Museums are the exception. People go to museums and pay to see other peoples' collections. My husband loves museums. He wants to see and read everything. I love seeing some things; but after a couple of hours, I'd rather see a collection of my thoughts, a chair and a
267: How Many Points For A Goal
Goals change. As a child I wanted just one thing - immediate gratification. Whether it was a cookie, a toy or my way, I wanted it right then. I didn't understand the concept of time. There was now and not now and not now caused tantrums. I didn't understand the pleasure of anticipation either. When it comes to cookies, I still don't.
As a teena
268: How Much Money Is In Your Pocketbook
My grandmother invented a game called "Pocketbook" to teach me about money. Every time we played there'd be a different amount in the pocketbook and I'd have to decide what I wanted to buy. I thought it was fun. Grandmother thought it was necessary.
I still play the game when I'm stuck in traffic, stuck on a runway or stuck with myself. Now, of
269: How Much Of Life Is A Scam
Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I think I'm the "am" in my own "scam". Permanent makeup, cosmetic dentistry, colored hair - I call it the Walter Cronkite Syndrome. Men have character lines; women have wrinkles. Men age; women get old. I think God used one of Adam's ribs to make Eve so there'd be one less bone to pick with men's looks.
Righ
270: How Often Do You Gamble
A family that has its reunion in Las Vegas obviously believes that a family that gambles together...prays together. On our flight home I realized I don't have the face for poker, the luck for roulette or any idea how to play craps.
Once when playing black jack, I got up the courage to double down on a pair of aces. Unfortunately, the pair belon
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