Humor Articles
31: What Happens When Mother Nature Mixes Black and White
Today's not just a gray day. It's the third one in a row and it's a Monday. It doesn't get much grayer than that. The worst thing about getting out of bed this morning was having to make the bed. Then I had to brush my teeth, That sounds easy, but it was a daunting challenge. I had to remove both my toothbush and toothpaste from the vanity drawer,
32: What s A Sure Cure For Pigging Out
Vegetating doesn't make you a vegetarian. I know. I've been a non-flesh eater for over twenty years. I'm not the Noah of nourishment, trying to save the animals. I can't digest animal protein, so it's my way to help my leather-wearing self feel better about what I eat.
Being a necessary life change, however, didn't make it an easy one. I had to
33: What s A Television Without Pictures
If I had to choose between television and radio, I'd choose the latter - reality over reruns. However, music doesn't sooth my savage beast. It doesn't quiet my thoughts. I listen to talk shows because they occupy my mind by giving me something else to think about.
I enjoy having my thoughts challenged, but I don't want them charred by hotheads
34: What Would You Do If You Ran The World
No one has asked me yet; but if I ran the world, solving the problems of peace, health, and poverty would, of course, be first on my agenda. Then I'd solve the irksome problems that plague everyday life.
In the field of politics - where you have to be careful where you step - politicians' noses would get longer when they lied and we'd vote for
35: Whatever Happened To
Whatever happened to the past seven or eight hours? That's what I ask myself when the alarm clock goes off. Because I feel like I just closed my eyes, it's hard to believe it's time to get up. Maybe I should make myself wake up during the night so I can appreciate having been asleep.
I'm at the age when there are lots of "whatever happened to'
36: When Is A Makeover Over
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" When my mirror giggled, I made an appointment for a makeover at the "New You", a very chic beauty salon.
Did I want a manicure or a massage? How about a new hair style? I wanted the works. In by nine, out by five - just like my dry cleaning.
As soon as I walked through the salon's
37: Where Does Time Go And How Can I Stop It
As a child I thought my grandmother was a bit strange because she complained about how fast time went. Fast? It was forever until cookie time. That was then. Now time passes so fast I feel wind burn.
I have to prioritize. I have to learn to say no because no one will say it for me. I have to stop worrying about things that probably won't happe
38: Who Carries The Beach Umbrella
There's no way to keep sand out of the house when you live by the beach, but the beach is why we moved here. I tell my family a little sand underfoot is homey. In the summer the beach is a magnet. People come for a day in the sun and by the end of the day I can tell which ones came without sunscreen. They come to release their inner child, as well
39: Who Put The OK In Cook
According to Webster's Dictionary, cooking is preparing food by boiling, baking, frying, etc. My family thinks etc. best describes mine. Okay, but I've come along way from using raw potatoes in curried potato salad to recreating dishes from "Gourmet Magazine". Because I was kitchen-challenged before I was married, my mother-in-law immediately sent
40: Who Said Dogs Are Man s Best Friend
I was flipping down the yellow, brick road of my life as I flipped through the pages of a photo album. Were the boys ever that little? Did I really have as many hair styles as Oprah? Then there were the pictures of our four-legged family.
The boys had a series of keep-it-in-your-room pets; but our first, family pet was a rabbit - VW Rabbit. Fat
41: Would You Rather Be In Philadelphia
W.C. Fields said, "All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia". It's what he sarcastically suggested as his epitaph.
I'd rather be in Philadelphia than have my annual physical. The tests don't bother me - although being a Type A personality makes me want to study for them. Asking as many questions as I can in the fifteen minutes I'm a
42: A Students Guide To Survive Living Alone
Going back a few years when I first moved out of my parents home to live in London, in University halls of residence, I remember feeling more excited than scared. The world of independence, no curfews and late night parties were something that had overwhelmed my senses. I felt extremely elated the first day I had arrived at my flat, knowing that th
43: Are Sitters An Endangered Species
I am one of the lucky ones. I work at home. My commute is less than thirty seconds and I'm much less likely to spill Starbuck's coffee on my lap. However, all house and no play makes for the occasional need of a sitter - but where have all the sitters gone?
Sitters seem to have become an endangered species. The bald eagle is an endangered speci
44: Are Television Commercials Rude
"But first a few words from our sponsors" and those few words are turning into more and more. There are also more and more commercial interruptions and they never say excuse me when they interrupt.
Most people ignore this rudeness and use commercials as snack breaks and toilet trips, but no one gets a beer or flushes one down the toilet during
45: Are They Driving You Crazy
I don't know why women got a reputation for being bad drivers - unless pushing supermarket carts counts as driving. I think I'm a good driver. After all, I spent seven years driving in New York City. When I sang "New York, New York", I changed the words. I sang "If you can drive it there, you can drive it anywhere. New York. New York".
When I d
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