Humor Articles
46: Are You A Procrastinator
Although I put off writing this, I'm not a procrastinator. I'm a prioritizer - unless thinking twice about something makes me a procrastinator.
No, I'm a blond; and blonds aren't likely to delay. Keeping our roots from showing has taught us not to put things off.
In spite of that, I married a procrastinator. In fact, my husband put the pro
47: Are You And Your Mate Well Mated
I admit it. I was the victim of marriage tests in women's magazines. When my marriage failed the "Marital Aptitude Test", I was concerned. When it failed "Are You and Your Mate Well Mated?", I started to worry. However, when it failed the "Monogamous Multiple Choice", I decided my marriage needed help.
My husband disagreed. He said the problems
48: Are You In The Race
My watch runs fast. In spite of the jeweler telling me that it runs perfectly, I know that its hands spin around the dial when I'm not looking.
Time seemed to pass very slowly when I was a child. The week before we went to the circus seemed at least a month long.
When my grandmother complained about time going too fast, I thought she was a
49: Are You Off-Track
Frankly, I never thought I'd have this particular train of thought; but to avoid a long drive home in rush-hour traffic, my husband and I decided to travel by train to visit friends.
I heard there were first class cars. I'm not sure because John bought coach tickets. I wish he'd by Coach when I wanted a new purse.
Coach travel on a train is
50: Are You Wearing A Uniform
When I say uniforms, what do you think of - police, soldiers, school children? I wore a uniform in high school and was relieved not to have to compete in fashion, as well as academics. Of course, I claimed dry cleaning made my skirt shorter.
Some say having to dress the same prevents independent growth. Someone worried about growth should get
51: Are You What You Eat
Home-cooked meals - pork chops, pot roast and roast chicken - used to be the norm. Now they're the exception. A family that can co-ordinate schedules to have dinner together has become food for thought.
Thoughts about food run the gamut from necessities to no-no's - from vitamins and minerals to Vic's pizza and Ming's chow mein - to take-out. B
52: Boycott Chinese and Buy Mexican
Bad Boy China is finally ticking off the sensitive diversity folks in my barrio. Somehow lead contaminated products were easier to take; after all, lead kills slowly. Lead is not nearly as dramatic as say a date rate drug coated toy that sends infants into nasty comas.
When the story first broke my first reaction was how horrible for the kids an
53: Brighten Your Day and Enlighten Your Life
George Bernard Shaw once said that if you find something funny search it for hidden truth. Here are few pearls of wisdom packaged in humour. Enjoy.
1. You wouldn't worry what people thought about you if you only knew how seldom they did.
2. To expect life to treat you fairly because you're a good person is like expecting a bull not to charg
54: Build It And They Will Come
If you ask architects what's up, they'll say the project they just finished. Architects turn dreams into realities, bridge past and present and have high hopes for the future. As of now, the highest is Taipei 101 at 1,671 feet.
Los Angeles' architecture runs the gamut from a building that looks like a donut to Frank Gheary's metal extravaganza
55: Can People Be Winterized
Winter is my least favorite season. I'm a transplanted New Englander. I live in Los Angles because I don't do cold well. December through March about all I can handle is a cold shoulder from a cold-hearted purveyor of cold cuts.
My family, however, still lives in New England. I love them in spite of that shortcoming, but it definitely wasn't my
56: Can You Burn Calories Exercising Your Judgment
From our previous house I could see a constant stream of bicyclers, joggers and skaters go by. Now I see the ocean. As beautiful as it is, it doesn't inspire me to exercise. I wave at the ocean and it waves back.
I know exercise should be as routine as eating and sleeping; but considering I skip breakfast and my husband has insomnia, exercise i
57: Can You Weather The Storm
"I wish I could, but I don't have time". "Sorry, but I have too much to do". "Maybe I can fit it in next week". Monday turns into Thursday and Thursday turns into the following month. I feel like a dog chasing its tail. It's time to stop and smell the beef jerky treat.
It's time to enjoy the reason we moved to Southern California - the weather.
58: Cashing in on Man Made Global Warming by Using Offsets
Some celebrity singer was recently quoted as saying that in order to save more trees we ought to limit ourselves with just one sheet of toilet paper for every visit to the bathroom. That is with the lone exception being up to three sheets for those really messy deals. Bear in mind that she is now claiming to have been joking at that time. Was it sa
59: Dice Sports Games That Are Fun%3B the Pro Football Game.
This is the next installment in a world of incredibly fun sports games played with dice. In the first installment I taught you how to play the college version of "Dice Football". That was the simplest of all my dice sports games. Now it is time to start getting a little more complex. As, in all my dice football games you will need two dice, noteboo
60: Do You Know What s In Store
I must have missed the "Mission Impossible " episode about getting a husband to help shop for family gifts. In desperation I blurted out that gifts can be found in any store. Before I could grab a fork to eat my words, John turned a misguided moment into a challenge.
He'd name a half dozen different kinds of stores. If I couldn't come up with
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