Humor Articles
76: Are You Running On Automatic
What a difference a day makes - unless you're going through life on automatic. Scientists are no help. They say we shouldn't sleep late even if we have the chance. Supposedly not getting up at the same time every day has a negative effect on our biorhythms. Obviously, those scientists don't have young children.
I try to get up before the alarm c
77: Are You Wearing A Uniform
When I say uniforms, what do you think of - police, soldiers, school children? I wore a uniform in high school and was relieved not to have to compete in fashion, as well as academics. Of course, I claimed dry cleaning made my skirt shorter.
Some say having to dress the same prevents independent growth. Someone worried about growth should get
78: Boycott Chinese and Buy Mexican
Bad Boy China is finally ticking off the sensitive diversity folks in my barrio. Somehow lead contaminated products were easier to take; after all, lead kills slowly. Lead is not nearly as dramatic as say a date rate drug coated toy that sends infants into nasty comas.
When the story first broke my first reaction was how horrible for the kids an
79: Do Advertisers Put The Ad In Ad Nauseam
Advertisers buy time on television shows based on demographics - statistical data showing the age, sex, income, etc of viewers. More men watch sports. More women watch daytime talk shows. More children watch cartoons. By knowing who's watching what when, advertisers can spend promotion dollars with an ad-vantage.
The Ab Rocket ads appeal to me
80: Do You Force The Forces Of Motivation
Motivation comes in different shapes and sizes. Before Abraham Lincoln was elected president, he lost seven elections for public office. Thomas Edison tried over 2,000 experiments before he got his light bulb to work. Col. Sanders was rejected by over 1,000 restaurants before he found one interested in his secret recipe. Obviously, to be successful
81: Do You Have The Flair To Be A Woman Of A Certain Age
"A woman of a certain age" is a European expression. She's not an older woman. She's a woman who has passed middle age with flair. An example would be Diane Keaton, Diane Sawyer or Oprah.
How do you know when you're old enough to be a woman of a certain age? I knew when I started referring to men between the ages of eighteen and twenty-nine as
82: Do You Know The Reason
Supposedly there's a reason for everything. If there is, I must have had a case of the "reverse Midas touch" yesterday. Whatever I touched turned to fool's gold. I stained a window shade trying to clean it, I broke the kitchen scale by dropping it on the floor and I scratched the dining room tile by moving chairs.
Supposedly things happen in th
83: Do You Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
When it comes to gift buying, "Be careful what they ask for - you might have to shop for it". I avoid this problem. I don't ask family and friends what they want for birthdays or for Christmas. By doing this I avoid having to shop for things like "a light, blue sweater - but not too light blue; with pretty buttons; machine washable; and in a size s
84: Do You Remember Your School Daze
I still have nightmares about being unprepared for school tests. Would dream analysts interpret that as meaning I don't feel in control of my life or that I have a fear of failure? Maybe I just need to be better prepared for blood tests and eye tests.
I went to an all girls' school - white blouses, blue skirts and brown oxfords. The only time I
85: Do You Watch Out For What s In
Baseball cards and comic books; Betty Boop and Beanie Babies - and anything decorated with cartoon characters - what's in one day is at a garage sale the next and then on E-bay as collectibles.
Hummers were in until rising gas prices made hybrids the politically correct car. I drive a car that's almost forty years old. I don't drive it far and
86: Does Chattering Idly Sound Like Gossip
If we're honest with ourselves, we'll admit we like to hear that someone's life is more out of control than ours. It explains the popularity of soap operas and tabloid newspapers.
"Brittany Spears Look-alike Is Space Alien" or "Woman Who Shoots Leopard Has Spotted Child" or "Man Loses Four Hundred Pounds Yodeling" - am I the only one who preten
87: Does The Shoe Fit
They say you don't know someone until you walk a mile in his shoes. If you walked a mile in mine, you'd have to walk in heels. I'm more comfortable in heels than flats - usually.
My luggage was lost when my husband and I went to Costa Rica. Lost luggage wasn't a surprise. Wearing heels to climb over volcanic rock from a live volcano was. Becaus
88: How Do You Look To Others
My looks aren't mine. I could tell you I look like Jacquelyn Smith with blond hair or Diane Sawyer with short hair or Jamie Lee Curtis with better movie choices, but my looks depend on how others see me.
Technically, I look like the combination of my mother's egg and my father's sperm; but because they didn't look like Janet Leigh and Tony Curt
89: How Many Points For A Goal
Goals change. As a child I wanted just one thing - immediate gratification. Whether it was a cookie, a toy or my way, I wanted it right then. I didn't understand the concept of time. There was now and not now and not now caused tantrums. I didn't understand the pleasure of anticipation either. When it comes to cookies, I still don't.
As a teena
90: How Well Do You Know Your Inner Child
The term "inner child" applies to our emotional body. Psychologist Carl Jung called it the "divine child", spiritual leader Emmet Fox called it the "wonder child" and I call it my reason for not having to act grownup all the time.
We all have an inner child; we just talk about it differently. Pablo Picasso said, "Every child is an artist. The p
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