Humor Articles
91: Are Crystal Balls Really Crystal
When I was a child, I wanted a crystal ball. I wanted to peer into a glass sphere and tell the future. My mother, however, didn't need a crystal ball. When she asked me where the cookies went, she knew I'd say, "I don't know". When she asked me how the glass got broken, she knew I'd say, "I don't know".
Politicians say "I don't know" a lot too.
92: Are Happy Hours Bar-Gains
Bargains come in all shapes and sizes. When I was in junior high, a boy gave me a going-steady ring, which I euphemistically called a friendship ring so my mother would let me wear it. Although the ring turned my finger green just about the time we were both ready to move on to greener pastures, Sam had definitely gotten more than he paid for becau
93: Are The Rich Still Getting Richer
Two years ago there were fourteen Americans on the list of the world's twenty richest people. Now there are four. Thanks to Warren Buffett and his $62 billion, an American remains on op of the list and Buffett can thank his company, Berkshire Hathaway. Being able to float loans enables Buffett to buy a wide range of companies. In fact, if you've ev
94: Are There More Dinosaurs
When I was a child, I traveled a lot by train. The train cars were nicer then. The service was better and the schedules were more convenient and definitely more reliable. My sister still enjoys traveling by train, but I think her enthusiasm is influenced by her acrophobia. I limit my trains to trains of thought - but even those aren't as reliable a
95: Are They Being Nosey
"The check's in the mail". "No, you don't look fat in that". "You don't look that old". These are familiar exaggerations, white lies or what my grandmother called Pinocchio noses.
A building contractor nose how to convince you the remodeling will be done on time. A used car dealer nose how to make an old car look good. A lawyer nose how to make
96: Are They Minding Their Own Business
Bratz, the 10-inch, clothes-conscious dolls, are big business. In 2007 they outsold Barbie, which more than upset Barbie's manufacturing mama, Mattel. Not only did the Bratz feature film, games and music albums make Barbie look like just another dumb blond, but the designer who conceived Bratz dolls for MGA Entertainment didn't play nice. He was on
97: Are They Stories Or Lessons
Once upon a time there was a little girl named Goldilocks. When I was a little girl, this was just a bedtime story. As an adult, I can read the lesson between the lines. Picky people are hard to bear.
When I heard the story of "Cinderella", I wanted glass slippers. Now I would need the slippers in size eight and a half. If I tried to squeeze my
98: Are We Acting Our Age
As baby boomers lose their boom, anti-aging is becoming big business. Baby boomers were born during the post WWII years of 1946 to 1966. Now, as baby boomers slow down, they're speeding up their search for the fountain of youth.
We all want to look younger. We try skin products, treatments and surgeries; but eventually we look in the mirror and
99: Are We Speaking The Same Language
When I was a child, I was told more than once to watch my language; but adults should watch what they say too. For example, it annoys me when someone says they gave 110%. Then my 100% effort doesn't seem good enough.
How many times have you heard someone say a picture's worth a thousand words? Have you ever seen a picture worth a thousand words?
100: Are You A Fair-Weather Friend
The weather is changing. Some people blame global warming. My grandmother blamed the astronauts who walked on the moon.
There isn't much weather in Los Angeles - unless you count earthquakes, mudslides, fires and droughts. Because LA is desert, the primary use of windshield wipers is to hold parking tickets.
When it does rain, however, it's
101: Are You An Optimist
How do I know I'm an optimist? I know because I meet the three, most obvious requirements. I got out of bed this morning, I'm married and I have children.
Of course, there are lots of other ways to tell if someone's a positive person. When the weatherman forecasts a party cloudy day, a positive person sees it as partly sunny. He washes his car
102: Are You Listed
Lists are for forgettables. When I was a newlywed, however, the one for the supermarket was more about what not toA get in order not to go over budget. If it wasn't listed, we couldn't afford it - unless it was tissues or toilet paper. We always needed those and they never spoiled.
When I travel, I always have a checklist. Everything I've taken
103: Are You Running On Automatic
What a difference a day makes - unless you're going through life on automatic. Scientists are no help. They say we shouldn't sleep late even if we have the chance. Supposedly not getting up at the same time every day has a negative effect on our biorhythms. Obviously, those scientists don't have young children.
I try to get up before the alarm c
104: Can The Facts Be Watered Down
Although our bodies are 50-60% water, our inability to store it requires us to continually replenish it. Twenty percent of the water we need can be replenished by the average diet and that percentage can be increased by increasing the amount of high-water foods we eat. Boiling grains increases water content six fold, vegetables lose negligible wate
105: Can You Burn Calories Exercising Your Judgment
From our previous house I could see a constant stream of bicyclers, joggers and skaters go by. Now I see the ocean. As beautiful as it is, it doesn't inspire me to exercise. I wave at the ocean and it waves back.
I know exercise should be as routine as eating and sleeping; but considering I skip breakfast and my husband has insomnia, exercise i
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