Self suggestion is a naturally occurring process that we go through every day. On a daily basis, we tell ourselves everything we believe and interpret as fact. Rarely do we attempt to input data into our brains that go against the grain of what we believe. Self suggestion has the power to be positive as well as the power to be negative. In fact, studies have proven that self suggestion is one of the most damaging tools we have in our repertoire of negative self talk.

We attract people, whether romantically or platonically, that we believe we deserve. If we are attracting women who cheat on us, who slap us in anger and manipulate us, we have inputed the data into our brains that tell us this is the best we can achieve.

Likewise, when we attract healthier, beautiful women it is because we have decided that is what we deserve. Over and over again, the mind reinforces what we believe through our own skewed self education. When someone hurts us or treats us poorly we can then revert straight to the immediate, "See? This is what happens to me all the time, I guess this is the best I can do."

Unfortunately, many of learn to self suggest negative input at a very young age. When we were children and people said to us, "You aren't good enough," we believed it and then developed a long list of self defeating thoughts that enable us to stay as low on the totem pole as we want. We learn to tell ourselves that some of the really attractive women are just too good for us and that we are not really worthy of a long term, committed relationship.

We tell ourselves that it was our fault she cheated because we weren't taking care of the needs at home. It really doesn't have to be that way.

Our self talk can really be rather limiting for us. We tend to believe the opinions of others rather than what we want is attainable and even reasonable. Our judgments that we make against ourselves not only hold us back from finding the woman we want, but also hold us back in our careers, our hopes, and our daily lives. Self suggestion is actually powerful enough to make us ill.

On the flip side, self suggestion has the power to turn fabulous corners in our lives and to help us grow into the people we want to become. We can tell ourselves that we can do it, we deserve it, and that Billy-Bob from down the street really doesn't know what he's talking about so why on earth are we listening? Take it back. Why give it away so easily? And really, there is nothing more than that, just take it back. When we opt to talk to ourselves with encouragement and understanding, we actually make ourselves much more attractive to other people.

In fact, the men with the hottest women, the deepest and most significant relationships, and let's face it, the nicest cars and homes, all have the power to self suggest in positive ways. What makes him any better than us? Nothing except that we don't believe or tell ourselves that we are any better.

If you want to become a master at self suggestion and start achieving bigger and better things and start finding the right woman, remove the word "but" from your life. How often do we say, "I want that but..." or "I would really like to but..." and how often are we self suggesting our way right out of what we want? Replace the word "but" with the word "so" and you suddenly have a totally different self suggestion.

Athletes and powerhouses learn to this very young. "I want that so I will..." or "I would really like to so I will..." puts us right back in control of who we are going after and how we are going to behave in order to accomplish it. It really is just a matter of what we tell ourselves and changing what we believe we are worth. So what if your third grade teacher told you that you were stupid or your father told you that you were born to be a loser. What makes them the expert? Who gives them the authority to determine who you are and how you are going to be? You can if you want but how is that working out for you so far?

Learning to adjust your image of yourself can take time. It doesn't have to, but most often it does. We have learned so much that is just plain false that it takes a bit reworking to get ourselves back on the right track. In fact, most people use their potential to change their self suggestion about 50 times before they start to see any real results from it. Once they see the first real and tangible change, then they start to make instant changes when they want to simply by inputting positive, self affirming data.

Change is always possible and a happy life with a happy and committed partner is just the tip of the iceberg. You deserve so much, and it is time that you start reminding yourself what an invaluable individual you really are.

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About the Author

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